TotallyNotBitcoin

Today's JokeCoin is heavily inspired by the currencies RUcoin and Bytecoin, but also applies to any other cryptocurrenies that are essentially carbon copies of Bitcoin with a slightly different name. With no major difference from the main Bitcoin branch, one almost wonders why the creators of these coins didn't call these altchains "BitcoinCopy#1" and "BitcoinCopy#2"...or even to consider the following recommendation from our own collective brain trust.

Without further ado, JokeCoin proudly presents our first creation:

What is TotallyNotBitcoin?

TotallyNotBitcoinCoin (abbreviated as TNBTC or !BTC) is a decentralized peer-to-peer digital currency that we made by forking the Bitcoin repository and changing the name builds upon the revolutionary ideas provided by Bitcoin to bring further innovation and creativity to modernize financial transactions.

Why should I use TotallyNotBitcoin?

TNBTC is not just a pump-and-dump currency. It will instead bring about highly inventive changes to the Bitcoin source code. Mind-boggling, extremely helpful changes that will drastically improve the currency over any existing altchain. Litecoin, PPCoin, and Devcoin will all seem like Monopoly money in comparison to !BTC after our modifications are implemented, and the entire cryptocoin community will be in awe of them.

We did mention it's also not a pump-and-dump, right? Because we totally swear it isn't. Promise!

What differences are there between Bitcoin and TotallyNotBitcoin?

There are several key differences between the two - other than just the name - and we shall reveal them all shortly.

Meaning the Butterfly Labs version of the word "shortly".

...Meaning you'd better get used to us saying "shortly", followed by pushing the deadline back by 6 months. Repeatedly. But you know that this isn't a scam, because we promised it wasn't one!

What about differences from RUcoin (RUC)? Or Bytecoin (BTE)?

For a start, the name of this currency is obviously better ;)

But, in all seriousness, nothing whatsoever. Except that TNBTC will soon be worth far more than either of them, so you'd better buy in ASAP to maximize your returns!!!

What services will accept TNBTC?

We assume that as time goes on (and as the baseless hype from legions of sheeple investors grows), there will exist similar services for TNBTC as similar cryptocurrencies. So have no fear; soon you too will be able to purchase crucial everyday items that you can already purchase with other currencies, such as pizza, miscellaneous advertising services, copious amounts of drugs, and used sex toys.

Will !BTC be premined?

We are well aware of the recent controversies surrounding currencies with large premines, which shall not be named here. In light of the community uproar around these practices, we solemnly swear that !BTC will not be premined except for a genesis block. 

...And a few million coins we'll keep for "experimental uses".

What guarantees are there that the founders of TNBTC are trustworthy?

We promise that the anonymous strangers from the internet creating these coins deemed to have immense value will - obviously - be trustworthy. It's not like they'd release something so potentially powerful with malicious intent, right? And still, even if they did, people would still buy right into it! After all, look at how many pre-orders for a new product were sent to a felon who pled guilty to mail fraud, and how many outages the most popular Bitcoin exchange makes its users suffer though!

You know, this all sounds like one big scam to me. Especially since you keep saying it isn't one...

But it's not! Really! Bitcoin is a legitimate currency and this is a direct copy of Bitcoin, so there's NO WAY TNBTC could be a scam!

Besides, you'll make us all rich if you buy into it. So please use it :)

I'm still not convinced, but I want to see the source. Where can I find the source code for TNBTC?

Oh. Err...it's not ready for public release. Yet. But it will be. Soon.

And yes, that's a BFL "soon"! MUAHAHAHA....*ahem* evil laughter aside, we're not ready to release the source just yet. Our code monkeys are lazy and still need to find everywhere that "Bitcoin" appears in the Bitcoin project, then replace it with "TotallyNotBitcoin" instead. But once they do, it'll be available for public display.

In the meantime, you just have to trust that everything is working the way a bunch of unaccredited anonymous internet strangers claim that they are. No problem, right?