PornCoins

Credit for this initial idea goes to TheSwede75 in our thread on the BitcoinTalk forums, who smugly pointed out that porn rules the world and a successful cryptocurrency would tap into that giant, veiny market. The idea was then expanded on by willhash4food and Cheshyr until it...actually turned into a fairly decent altchain idea, especially once combined with some previous ideas our team were already kicking around. How about that.

Unfortunately for anyone's grand scheme to implement this devious plan, we've taken the liberty of hijacking it first!



PornCoins feature a set of 3 different coins that are all merge-mined and serve slightly different purposes. However, they all work towards the same central goal: Providing dedicated cryptocurrency support for x-rated material in a variety of situations for added flexibility. Double entendre intended.

The currencies which make up the larger PornCoins project consist of the following:

BoobCoin (BOOB)

The heavyweight coin of this set of cryptocurrencies, BOOB is essentially a clone of Bitcoin with the word "Bit" replaced by the word "Boob" instead. Which, obviously, makes it so much better already!

Additionally, a total of 69,696,969 coins will be generated and the block reward value will start at 69 because we can.

On a (extremely slightly) more serious note, this will support the larger transaction sizes that caused the recent Bitcoin fork from the beginning. Just so we avoid a freaky three-way of block chains later on down the line. Not to complain about being in a freaky three-way, though...

It will be used for the larger transactions within the PornCoin network as the confirmation times will take longer than the other two currencies. However, it can just as easily be used for day-to-day transactions if desired.

QuickieCoin (QuC)

QuC is "sort of" to BOOB what Litecoin is to Bitcoin; a faster transaction set for more realistic day-to-day transactions. After all, who wants to be waiting around for 2 hours waiting for your tip to the camgirls to process?!

The main feature of QuC is it will have guaranteed transaction times of 2 minutes or less. Just like a quickie, or that embarrassing first time. Not that all of our readers have had a first time to begin with...

Also, there shall be 6 times more QuC than BOOB mainly to force QuC to have a lower value by the laws of supply and demand. These smaller denominations will also help QuC firmly take the position of secondary currency and be the bottom to BOOB's top in this relationship.

All these combined mean that QuC will be better-suited for smaller, everyday transactions than BOOB. Sure, users can still use BOOB if they really desire, but the intent is that QuC will be better tailored to get a quick confirmation for small payments. This will make it more desirable for small transactions.

XXXCoin (XXXC)

XXXC will have more in common with Namecoin than with Bitcoin, but it also plays an important role in the overall PornCoin project. This currency will be used exclusively to buy domain names from the .xxx top-level domain, similar to using Namecoin on the .bit domain. Due to the overall "flop" of the .xxx domain system at this point in time, this will (hopefully) help revitalize interest in the top-level domain and make it more feasible for the average person to purchase domain names.

There will be 6 times as many XXXC as QuC, meaning 36 times more than BOOB for those of you who failed basic math. This is mainly a "because we can" sort of a change, but is also to help placate those users who like seeing large numbers of coins in their wallet. Meaning Namecoin users should feel right at home using it.

The anonymity and security of such a currency means people would feel more comfortable with registering these adult-oriented domains with less fear of repercussions. Even in locations where pornography is a taboo, this would still help facilitate an increase in the overall viability of porn sites without fear of censorship.

Not that there's a shortage of porn sites online, or anything.

The Mining Client

This is where willhash4food and Cheshyr's suggestions come into play. The mining client will merge-mine all three of these coins simultaneously. It will also feature advertisements from porn websites on the sides of the mining client. Websites may bid on space for advertisements with any of the coins; each one will have a designated area on the client. For example, bidding with BOOB will place advertisements on the bottom of the client, while QuC will be used to bid for ads on the right panel and XXXC will be associated with the left panel.

90% of all advertising revenue from these advertisements will be repaid to the miners. The remaining 10% of the advertising revenue will go directly to the PornCoin foundation to be used for bounties on interesting new features. The foundation's money could also be used to persuade existing well-established porn sites/actors to accept these new currencies, and to help circulate the currencies more efficiently. If we assume an active, well-meaning group of Foundation members, most (if not all) of these coins gifted to the Foundation will be re-used in circulation frequently rather than hoarded.


Thus, mining will become even more interesting (but hotter and stickier, perhaps) for the many users of this fine suite of coins. There will also potentially be a reason to keep the mining client open, which will also help generate page views for the sites paying for advertisements. It really is a win-win situation, especially if you keep lotion and kleenex close to your mining rigs!




Again, we unfortunately do not have any source code to release this time around, but we shall work on creating proper clients for all the PornCoins and for !BTC (which we featured here last time).

TotallyNotBitcoin

Today's JokeCoin is heavily inspired by the currencies RUcoin and Bytecoin, but also applies to any other cryptocurrenies that are essentially carbon copies of Bitcoin with a slightly different name. With no major difference from the main Bitcoin branch, one almost wonders why the creators of these coins didn't call these altchains "BitcoinCopy#1" and "BitcoinCopy#2"...or even to consider the following recommendation from our own collective brain trust.

Without further ado, JokeCoin proudly presents our first creation:

What is TotallyNotBitcoin?

TotallyNotBitcoinCoin (abbreviated as TNBTC or !BTC) is a decentralized peer-to-peer digital currency that we made by forking the Bitcoin repository and changing the name builds upon the revolutionary ideas provided by Bitcoin to bring further innovation and creativity to modernize financial transactions.

Why should I use TotallyNotBitcoin?

TNBTC is not just a pump-and-dump currency. It will instead bring about highly inventive changes to the Bitcoin source code. Mind-boggling, extremely helpful changes that will drastically improve the currency over any existing altchain. Litecoin, PPCoin, and Devcoin will all seem like Monopoly money in comparison to !BTC after our modifications are implemented, and the entire cryptocoin community will be in awe of them.

We did mention it's also not a pump-and-dump, right? Because we totally swear it isn't. Promise!

What differences are there between Bitcoin and TotallyNotBitcoin?

There are several key differences between the two - other than just the name - and we shall reveal them all shortly.

Meaning the Butterfly Labs version of the word "shortly".

...Meaning you'd better get used to us saying "shortly", followed by pushing the deadline back by 6 months. Repeatedly. But you know that this isn't a scam, because we promised it wasn't one!

What about differences from RUcoin (RUC)? Or Bytecoin (BTE)?

For a start, the name of this currency is obviously better ;)

But, in all seriousness, nothing whatsoever. Except that TNBTC will soon be worth far more than either of them, so you'd better buy in ASAP to maximize your returns!!!

What services will accept TNBTC?

We assume that as time goes on (and as the baseless hype from legions of sheeple investors grows), there will exist similar services for TNBTC as similar cryptocurrencies. So have no fear; soon you too will be able to purchase crucial everyday items that you can already purchase with other currencies, such as pizza, miscellaneous advertising services, copious amounts of drugs, and used sex toys.

Will !BTC be premined?

We are well aware of the recent controversies surrounding currencies with large premines, which shall not be named here. In light of the community uproar around these practices, we solemnly swear that !BTC will not be premined except for a genesis block. 

...And a few million coins we'll keep for "experimental uses".

What guarantees are there that the founders of TNBTC are trustworthy?

We promise that the anonymous strangers from the internet creating these coins deemed to have immense value will - obviously - be trustworthy. It's not like they'd release something so potentially powerful with malicious intent, right? And still, even if they did, people would still buy right into it! After all, look at how many pre-orders for a new product were sent to a felon who pled guilty to mail fraud, and how many outages the most popular Bitcoin exchange makes its users suffer though!

You know, this all sounds like one big scam to me. Especially since you keep saying it isn't one...

But it's not! Really! Bitcoin is a legitimate currency and this is a direct copy of Bitcoin, so there's NO WAY TNBTC could be a scam!

Besides, you'll make us all rich if you buy into it. So please use it :)

I'm still not convinced, but I want to see the source. Where can I find the source code for TNBTC?

Oh. Err...it's not ready for public release. Yet. But it will be. Soon.

And yes, that's a BFL "soon"! MUAHAHAHA....*ahem* evil laughter aside, we're not ready to release the source just yet. Our code monkeys are lazy and still need to find everywhere that "Bitcoin" appears in the Bitcoin project, then replace it with "TotallyNotBitcoin" instead. But once they do, it'll be available for public display.

In the meantime, you just have to trust that everything is working the way a bunch of unaccredited anonymous internet strangers claim that they are. No problem, right?

The Purpose of this Blog

This site's primary goal is humor. Specifically, humor based around the Bitcoin decentralized cryptocurrency and other related forks from the Bitcoin repository (often called "altchains" or "altcoins" by the Bitcoin community). I won't be talking about what the hell a Bitcoin is since enough people have done that already,


There exists an entire subforum on the popular Bitcointalk forums dedicated to discussing these alternate cryptocurrencies, each one attempting to become just as widespread and noticeable as Bitcoin itself. Some of these new coins have made significant changes to the original Bitcoin source code and have contributed interesting new innovations to the world of digital cryptocurrency. Others are literally carbon copies of Bitcoin with the title renamed, sometimes referred to with stock trader slang as "pump and dump" coins. These tend to be filled with hype, have no real substance behind them, and - ultimately - tend to be short lived.

At it's core, this blog is designed in the spirit of the latter category of coins; the ones which are just too similar to Bitcoin - or simply too idiotic - to truly gain a serious following. However, whereas several of those currencies are published seriously (and oftentimes with the malicious intent of scamming random forumgoers), this site is one hundred and twenty percent for humor. All coins described here will be created merely as jokes, only for the sake of laughter rather than cold hard profits.


While some of you might be wondering "Then why bother, if no one is going to make money off of it!" I personally believe this fills a valuable niche that is currently lacking in the Bitcoin world: Entertainment, specifically humor. We all need time to laugh at something - be it ourselves, a ventriloquist's puppet, mindless memes on the internet, or even terrible jokes about peer-to-peer digital currencies. Despite the many gambling sites, a thriving black market, and even a service that lets you order pizza with Bitcoins, the only real laughs out there seem to be had via trolling other users on forums or chatrooms. And - no offense to the many fine trolls under the bridge - that doesn't provide much variety.

This blog will attempt to carve a new handhold in the world of cryptocurrencies filled with humor. Should it somehow become popular, I might consider a fully-fledged site with more features than a blogger page...but that's probably a long way away from this humble beginning!


Suggestions for new Jokecoins (the farcical currencies to be featured here) are always welcome, as are constructive feedback and donations *nudge nudge* *wink wink*. I'd prefer if they were less targeted at individuals and more geared towards poking fun at the cryptocurrency world - or even real world - on the whole. Ideally I'd like to update this 2-3 times per week, but I guess it depends partially on the number of ideas I can think up, or that readers can provide. Audience participation is highly encouraged and tends to go very well. Or so they tell me.

Final final note: Expect profanity. This ain't a kid-friendly blog by any means!